and this is what i was thinking...
'Oops, I'm sorry, I never meant to say something that would hurt your feelings; it will never happen again'
yes, you did mean to say something to hurt their feelings - you were upset and you took it out on them.
'it will never happen again'
are you serious?
'Oops, I'm sorry'
that's the best you can do?
i don't like the advice of this article. the author doesn't take it far enough. he doesn't hold the person accountable enough. it reminds me of abusive relationships and power and control tactics that leads to a 'honeymoon phase' after the damage is done.
'it will never happen again' is reflective of promise-making and a pathetic attempt at trying to re-gain trust in someone again. this is not realistic in relationships. a better approach would be to acknowledge your screw up and apologise for hurting their feelings and creating some distance out of respect for the other person. asking for your partner to forgive you is a better way forward AND you should then be demonstrating an honest effort to check yourself and your decisions (words/behaviour) in the future. perhaps counseling should be considered. perhaps you have some work to do. being in a relationship isn't just about you. it's also about the other person. you have a responsibility towards them. that's what being in a relationship is about.
i know apology advice was referenced in the concluding paragraph, er, sentence...but it could have been better elaborated.
the concept of forgiveness is huge in relationships and it bothers me that this doctor, this psychotherapist, this radio talk show host just didn't go far enough, considering he's got an audience.
what lies beneath this rant is the fact that courtday was yesterday and i'm usually disheartened afterwards. sad about the fact of how broken we are. how lost we are. how misguided we are. but that's a whole other blog post which i won't expose you to.
have a great weekend, everyone. i do mean that.
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