sex.
if you're already uncomfortable perhaps you might want to sit this one out. or maybe challenge yourself. it's up to you. you need to know, i am so not afraid to go there. i'm ready to speak some truth.
sex and the single person. sex and the christian, female, single person. oooo, she shouldn't be talking about sex. she shouldn't even be thinking about it. she's not married. right. i'm done with pretending sex doesn't apply to me just because i'm not married. it's a like a tick box on an application form waiting patiently to go from n/a to yes.
sex.
sex.
what i need is a healthy understanding. what i need is to be honest with god. what i need is to give god the things which belong to him. including this.
god made me. god made sex. he chose sex to be the 'thing' that bonds us to another person in marriage. to commit fully to the true definition of love. we were designed to be relational. him and us, his church. to desire intimacy. to be known. this is not a bad thing. this is a beautiful thing. it's his plan. and don't make me feel guilty for the fact this girl's got a sex drive. this drive exists with or without a marriage partner. think about it.
are you following me? he gets this.
did anyone else find the true love waits programme and purity pledges incredibly patrionsing, fear-driven and superficial? i need something more than that. we need something more than that. bring this down to my level. please. something relevant and something which confirms i'm not going crazy.
i have a sex drive. you have a sex drive. we have a sex drive. i'm not celebrating the pre-marital sexual spectrum here. and, if that's what you're thinking, you're either intimidated by my directness or afraid of yourself and unsure of god's true intentions of sex.
i'm acknowledging the single, female christian has a sex drive and it's not a bad thing. it's god-given. it's why we marry. it's why we have children. and, once you admit this to yourself, you can relax and give it all back to him. the main point here? giving it all back to him and respecting his intentions. try it. i dare you.
want more? get busy with these articles and report back.
7 comments:
What I care to know about is, how do you deal with this sex drive? Mine is sometimes very strong. I wake up with it, go to bed with it. How do you deal with it? That is what would make this post more valuable.
hi anonymous!
i think i was trying to expose the taboo-ness of christian, single women having sex drives, create some normalcy.
you're right, i haven't even addressed how to manage this.
what was going through my mind when i was writing this piece was reconciling my own sex drive. it's very present and hormonal and actually quite...normal. that was a big realisation for me.
i have lots of married friends and i'm very much aware that i'm 'not like my married friends' and then i'm forced to remember my singleness and how frustrating it can be sometimes.
i think the point i was trying to make was that single people have sex drives (obviously) and that i don't like it when people pretend single people aren't sexual people too.
also, i've never really had a serious relationship, or dating experiences (i'm 28) so that might provide some context too with my entry.
thanks for stopping by and providing your thoughts. maybe i'll work on a follow-up piece!
take care,
hayley
I read your post on The Good Women Projest sometime last week, where you lead us to your personal blog. I followed the link & came to your blog & absolutely loved what you said. I was able to acknowledge that its true, as single Christian women WE ALL have a sex drive & it's absolutely normal, so we need to first of all accept it, then just like you say, give it back to Him. So it has changed the way I pray, cause I'll tell Him to help me be self-controlled & that I give it to Him, while it's not my time. Thanks for being so raw & honest in your blog. It helped & I loved reading it. God bless!! :D
aaaw, you're so sweet, nat!
thanks for letting me know your thoughts. i like how you wrote 'raw and honest'. that's what i aim for when i write about things that are very close to my heart. i have no problem addressing the 'pink elephant' sometimes ;))
isn't the good women project just...great!??!?! i love that girl, lauren. she's on to something.
take care, nat!
Spot on! I dare say all Christian singles are looking for is that simple acknowledgement of the /truth/, even if/when it may not be easy to talk about or address. It's way past time to take off the plastic masks and step out of the comfort zones within Christianity to speak the truth of God's Word into the minute-by-minute reality of life.
thanks, gregory. i appreciate your comments. the more and more i spend time in the Word, the more i realise God provides us with so much truth/knowledge/instruction which is actually really relevant to daily life!! he's sooo good.
thanks for stopping by and letting me know your thoughts!
Like Anonymous suggested, as you have opportunity to, I would love to hear your thoughts on what we should do with the sex drive God has given us.
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