like dust on a window.

seventy-eight.

that's the grand total of weight lost since christmas two thousand and nine.


seventy-eight.


i know. finally had access to a scale for the first time a long while on the weekend. it is veering on the side of unbelief, but...i tell you no lie. and i will tell you how.

tip one - you need to be ready. mentally and emotionally. i firmly believe you just...have to be ready. ready for something more. something big. something to change. ready to feel, better. the decision came about when i told my current employer i was giving them two months notice in preparation to make the transition to england.

tip two - research. educate. visit the library. read books covering a low-carb lifestyle. this is not atkins people. atkins encourages high fat foods with little veggies or fruit. that is not healthy. research the gi diet and find out which foods are sugary and which ones are not. find out your blood type and eat foods that are complimentary to your blood type. i'm o-negative. my body doesn't break down wheat or sugar very well and that's where gluten-free breads are helpful. be proactive and look at your family's medical history. take stock of your sugar intake and work to reduce it. avoid all carbs initially. that means no bread, rice, pasta or potato...for at least a month. it is possible. turn your salads into meals. eat lots of fresh green veggies, lean protein and don't forget dairy and nuts. start eating whole foods, fresh produce. oatmeal. eggs. you're ultimately shrinking your stomach so you're fuller sooner and for longer. when you avoid processed foods, you avoid sugar. when you avoid high carb foods for a significant period of time, you're forcing your body to withdrawal from sugar. sugar is carbs and carbs is energy. what doesn't get burned off, sits on your body as stored fat. avoiding carbs forces the body to deal with the stored fat. that is when i saw the weight loss. protein lasts longer than carbs. you want to eat foods that break down in the body at a slower rate. this will avoid sugar spikes which ultimately helps the pancreas to relax with the whole distribution of insulin. type two diabetes is a pancreas that is out of control. the body can only take so much and you'll see its manifestations in other body complications.

tip three - drink water. drink water. oh, and drink some freakin' water. i consume water, coffee and wine...and beer. i can't remember the last time i drank a carbonated drink. i crave, water throughout the day...and coffee is a must or hayley gets a headache by eleven.

tip four - vitamins. take them.

tip five - don't exercise. aha. i didn't. you're gonna hate me for that. but, honestly...as the weight left the energy level increased. the desire to explore, discover was strong. there was a get up and go. also, the european lifestyle is all about public transport and england is the size of a postage stamp therefore getting around is much easier when you're...on foot. i can climb stairs or a steep hill at a fast pace and there's no heart attack when i reach the top. go me.

tip six - while on the subject of england...move to a foreign country, alone. throw yourself into unfamiliar territory. leave behind the safe, the comfortable. accept a stressful job offer...in the uk child welfare system. throw in some culture shock with a dose of delayed homesickness, and you've got yourself a loss of appetite. hello, weight loss helper. again, that was a moment in time and i had to go through it. we're much better now. still neurotic tho.

tip seven - accept this is the long haul. rapid weight loss is unrealistic. unmanageable and unhealthy. this is a lifestyle. when you kick the sugar addiction, your body no longer craves it and your taste buds start to appreciate food in its raw, natural flavourful, stripped down state. maybe that's why i crave olives so much. salt. savory versus sweet. you need to realise you won't fully understand this until you kick that sugar addiction. trust me on this one. or don't. but, i know what i'm talking about.

tip eight - do not ignore that chocolate craving, especially if your premenses. you're not helping anyone by avoidance. just do it and get it over with.

now then, welcome to the significant weight-loss impact portion of this entry.

impact issue one - the ribcage area has skrunk therefore the bandwidth has decreased. cup size, yeah...not so much. trying to find bras with a big enough cup for a small enough rib cage. or, what i like to refer to as the dolly parton syndrome. hey...it is what it is and i'm done with pretending. this is me and i have no problem addressing the pink elephant. button up shirts also present a problem. what else is new.

impact issue two - you initially start feeling guilty about how much better you're feeling, not only in the emotional department, but also in the physical department. you loathe the fact you're starting to like what you're seeing which is hilarious because you loathed what you looked liked in the first place. the common denominator here is self-loathing. not wanting to be seen as vain, but genuinely happy how you've decreased the likelihood of diabetes, heart disease and hypertension. and...permission to appreciate the beauty of your human form. the self-loathing needed to stop and thank goodness those days are over. this is a process and that ship has sailed. someone told me i was beautiful then and i am beautiful now. i am choosing to believe that. beauty is fluid and more than just physicality. i want to be a beautiful person inside and out. i am trying.

impact issue three - you can't keep clothes on. every three to four months...new wardrobe.
e-x-p-e-n-s-i-v-e.

impact issue four - while on the topic of money, losing weight really is expensive. you're buying whole foods, fresh produce, lean proteins. processed foods are cheap and mass produced. you're spending more time in the kitchen. more time prepping. i like cooking. time in the kitchen after work is a release. especially if there's a glass of shiraz involved with music.

seventy-eight. frig, that's a lot.

now i need your help. english wedding outfit option number one. yes? no? or should i keep looking? pretend the peace sign isn't there. i really need to put a lid on that.

this one's pretty...but i need a tan to pull the colour off.

can't seem to stay away from this colour tho.

geez. this is a long post. k, we're done now, bye.