Sunday, 28 November 2010

story time with rachel and hayley.

for tonight's story time tales with rachel and hayley, we will be sharing with you the non-fictional book, you are what you eat by dr. gillian mckeith.

she's not a medical doctor. she's a doctor of philosophy in nutrition. what does that mean anyway? this all came about because rachel was telling me about the gaudy, british reality tv show, i'm a celebrity get me out of here while we were drinking tea and catching up. the link is that one the contestants was this author, dr. gillian and i recognised the name because i saw this book in the stack of books that came with my cottage. rachel said dr. gillian was always fainting and screaming over the gross things she had to do on the show.

so rachel starts looking through the book and appropriately stops at chapter six. that's the looking good and feeling sexy chapter. and you know...we had just had to.




















oh yeah.














here's the play-by-play...of what we can remember. "quoted stuff is dr. gillian", italicized stuff is us.

page one eighty-four, "i've complied a list of extra sexy foods..." because foods that are already sexy aren't just sexy enough, rachel and i say to each other.

rachel recites off the list and i listen, taking careful notes like a keener on the first day of school.

adzuki beans
apples
artichokes
asparagus
avocado - yummy with rabbit food
bananas - every morning
beet roots - against my religion. ever since they stained my plastic plate when i sat in my high chair, mom could never get me to eat them...and it stuck
black beans
blackberries
blackcurrants
blueberries
brazil nuts
brown rice
cardamon
celery
cherries - i don't eat those...only when they're in season. i guess i'm not sexy out of season
chives
chlorella - what the heck is that????
cinnamon - i eat this everyday....in my oatmeal! ohmygosh, i'm sexy
dalkon root - ??????
dates - ick
dulse seaweed
fava beans
fennel
figs
flak/linseed
garlic - wow. i must be really sexy...i freakin' love garlic
ginger - i'm on a roll, girlfriend
gooseberries - can't say that i have
hazel nuts
leeks
licorice
mango
meng beans - that just sounds wrong
nori seaweed
nutmeg
oats - every morning i'm sexy. doubly sexy because of the cinnamon too. triple sexy because there's bananas thrown in there too

you must be well sexy in the morning, hayley, rachel says.

wait 'til you see my bedhead, rachel. it'll blow your mind. we gotta be done soon, i'm obviously way too sexy and pretty soon i'll be all sexied out before we reach the end of this sexy food list.

okra
onions
parsley
pomegranate
pumpkin
quinoa bread - that's my bread!!!!!
raspberries
saffron
seaweed
seasame seeds
soaked almonds
soy beans
spinach - rabbit food!
squash seeds - like, butternut squash seeds? i eat those.
steamed kale
strawberries
sunflower seeds
tomatoes
trout
turmeric
vanilla - love vanilla
watercress
wild salmon - as opposed to salmon in captivity? i ask. rachel replies, just not sexy enough...wild is sexier.

"and the sexiest food of all...according to german research is raw sauerkraut. i promise! watch your love-making (gah, hate that word) antics (what??) soar (????) once you start eating raw sauerkraut twice a day".

are you gonna make sure you eat all those foods? rachel asks.
you bet your ass!! i say.

"...when you eat for great sex, you'll be eating for great health too!" it's a win-win people.

rachel asks, don't you feel better knowing this information?
you have no idea, i say.

and this concludes, story time tales with rachel and hayley.

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